Dear Fanfic author,
May. 20th, 2010 12:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mcityI've been reading your fanfic, and I happened to reach the point where a certain character is introduced. It was something like "Jane Doe; certified CPA, job hopeful, and closeted lesbian..."
Imagine I was describing some guy in a bar, and I went "Jimme-Joe Johnson; proud Georgian, good 'ol boy, and hard drinker..." That allows the reader to get a fairly good idea of his character. Now imagine I said "Jimmie-Joe Johnson; proud Georgian, good 'ol boy, and competitive tiddlewinks player..."
See the difference?
The first one tells us who Johnson is; all the characterization points are pretty much related to each other. JJ is a Southern bro. The second is the narrative equivalent of a Chekhov's Gun being mentioned in the playbill instead of the actual play. Unless Johnson is actually discussing tiddlywinks with the boys in his opening scene, that last item is just jarring. Sure, JJ may have to fake his way into the State Fair by pretending to be part of the Podunk County, GA Tiddlywinks team, and his friends can be assumed to know about his, but it's never acknowledged onscreen.
Similarly, Jane's sexuality doesn't seem to have any impact on her characterization at all so far, not in her introductory scene, or in any of the chapters since. I know that the fandom consensus-with some canon support-is that she had a crush on her boss. Another popular fanfic in the same fandom is deliberately ambiguous about the relationship between Jane and her boss, and I'm perfectly willing to keep reading until it is or isn't resolved. What you're doing is playing your cards too soon; there are more graceful ways to foreshadow than "LOL SHE LIKES GIRLS". That's what's called a Big-Lipped Characterization Moment.
There's something else about this that disturbs me. If you want Jane to be a lesbian in your fic, fine, no problem. If you want to mention or hint at it it casually at some point in the narration or dialogue, no problem. If you want it to be part of the initial description of the character without any real relevance, meaning you think of her largely in terms of who she's bangin', problem.
-Jonathan
PS: Also, either curse or don't curse. There's no FCC for fanfic, so there's no one who's going to fine you for using the S-word but not blanking out the last three letters of the F-word.
Imagine I was describing some guy in a bar, and I went "Jimme-Joe Johnson; proud Georgian, good 'ol boy, and hard drinker..." That allows the reader to get a fairly good idea of his character. Now imagine I said "Jimmie-Joe Johnson; proud Georgian, good 'ol boy, and competitive tiddlewinks player..."
See the difference?
The first one tells us who Johnson is; all the characterization points are pretty much related to each other. JJ is a Southern bro. The second is the narrative equivalent of a Chekhov's Gun being mentioned in the playbill instead of the actual play. Unless Johnson is actually discussing tiddlywinks with the boys in his opening scene, that last item is just jarring. Sure, JJ may have to fake his way into the State Fair by pretending to be part of the Podunk County, GA Tiddlywinks team, and his friends can be assumed to know about his, but it's never acknowledged onscreen.
Similarly, Jane's sexuality doesn't seem to have any impact on her characterization at all so far, not in her introductory scene, or in any of the chapters since. I know that the fandom consensus-with some canon support-is that she had a crush on her boss. Another popular fanfic in the same fandom is deliberately ambiguous about the relationship between Jane and her boss, and I'm perfectly willing to keep reading until it is or isn't resolved. What you're doing is playing your cards too soon; there are more graceful ways to foreshadow than "LOL SHE LIKES GIRLS". That's what's called a Big-Lipped Characterization Moment.
There's something else about this that disturbs me. If you want Jane to be a lesbian in your fic, fine, no problem. If you want to mention or hint at it it casually at some point in the narration or dialogue, no problem. If you want it to be part of the initial description of the character without any real relevance, meaning you think of her largely in terms of who she's bangin', problem.
-Jonathan
PS: Also, either curse or don't curse. There's no FCC for fanfic, so there's no one who's going to fine you for using the S-word but not blanking out the last three letters of the F-word.
