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[mcity]

http://www.lackadaisycats.com/

Remember when I said I'd give that Harry Potter/Iron Man crossover a chance? I take it back.

Harry, shortly after the blinding bit of OOC by the Dursleys mentioned previously, celebrates Hermione's birthday by using a pirate themed celebration, since it happens to fall on "Talk Like a Pirate Day". Well, it's not uncommon for ficcer's to insert their favorite things(tvtropes), even when they would be chronologically or geographically inaccurate. Take the authour's note at the end of the chapter.

A/N The last: Ok, I know that the International talk like a Pirate Day didn’t actually start until 1995, but it was too cute to pass up, so sue me. Besides, couldn’t you just picture them doing it?

...Moving on.

The troll attack occurs, as canon, but Harry finds his Techsuit ineffective against it, so he releases the limiters on his chaos magic and blasts it. It vaporizes the troll above the waist, but severely burns Harry. He deploys his phone just before he blacks out, Hermione calls Tony, and Harry starts dying despite Pomfrey's best efforts. Tony calls the Scarlet Witch and Angela Harkness(who happens to be McGonagall's aunt) and they teleport to just outside of Hogwarts' wards. Then SW teleports into Hogwarts, and Hermione points out that's supposed to be impossible. Harkness;

“There are many kinds of magic Miss Granger, though Hogwarts won’t teach you this. It is true that Wizarding Magic will not allow you to apparate into the grounds of Hogwarts. Several of the other types of magic have no problem with Wizarding wards at all.

Remember, kids, this is a ward Voldemort himself, at the height of his power, couldn't get around.

As SW works on Harry, the girls, Harkness, and McGonagall walk into the castle, and find Dumbledore and Snape have confronted Quirrell and exposed Voldemort in the Great Hall. Snape has been stunned, and Voldemort shrugs off of bats away everything Dumbledore throws at him.

"Idiot.” Murmured Agatha Harkness. “There’s only one way to deal with a possession.” The older woman made a few gestures and a black band of magic leapt from her body and impacted on Quirrell’s body, where it pushed a hazy black mist from the professor’s head. Quirrell dropped like a puppet with its strings cut. The haze hung motionless in the air for a moment before rocketing straight up with a horrible wail.

Dumbledore raged at the aged woman “What did you do?”

“The only thing that could be done. You had already killed the host.” She gestured toward Quirrell’s body. “The only thing that will defeat a possessed corpse is to expel the possessor. You were wasting time and energy.”

Let's see.

1. Dumbledore, one of smartest wizards alive, is an "idiot".
2. He managed to kill Quirrell without even noticing.
3. Harkness out-magics him in a matter of seconds.
4. He "rages" at Harkness, who insults him further.

He then points out that she was banned from Hogwarts, to which she responds that she left of her own free will.

“I will be calling the Aurors to deal with you.”

The woman shrugged. “They are your Aurors, if you don’t care what happens to them, why should I?” She peered into his eyes for a moment. “You asked Minerva to contact me, and get angry when I appear? Does your hypocrisy know no bounds Albus? You were much easier to deal with when you were younger. Back then you didn’t let things that happened before you were born and that you do not understand inspire you to righteous indignation toward one of your teachers.”

Dumbledore paled. No one had made it past his occlumency shield for more than a century, and this woman did it without his even noticing.

“You know of course any attack against me will lose you Harry for all time.”

“If he knew about it.” Hissed the wizard.
“Threats Albus? And in front of so many witnesses.” She smiled ruefully.

Basically, Dumbledore had to act wildly OOC so Harkness could look better than him. And Voldemort actually sticks around for it instead of running like the wuss he canonically is.

Harry made peace with Snape due to something Tony taught him; it's important not to make the other guy hate you, and anything that does is bad business. That same father comes storming into the Great Hall in the middle of breakfast and confronts Dumbledore about putting his son in danger. It's been established, by this point, that Tony knows Harry's life is in danger, which is part of the reason for the Techsuit. Also, the attack wasn't even Dumbledore's fault.

Dumbledore was taken aback at the man’s vitriol. Did he not know to whom he was speaking? Giving no outward sign he concentrated and applied a calming compulsion to the man. Tony Stark’s eyes dilated for a second and he smiled, then his brow furrowed, and the fire returned to his eyes. He leaned over the table, putting himself inches from the Headmaster’s face.

Because we all know how Dumbledore is willing to mind-control people at a moment's notice, instead of, y'know, talking to them.

“Old man, you know the circles I deal with. You made that clear when you decided to visit us this summer. I am a technologist. I build things. My friends encounter cowards who try to control the minds of others all the time. Try to control my thoughts again and I will rip your mind from your body. If I ever find out you used your mind control on my son, and not a single stone of this lovely castle will be left standing. Do I make myself clear?”

Oh, crap, they got to Tony too.

“What I do if for the greater good Mr. Stark.” Did this Muggle really think Dumbledore would be frightened by his threats? Though his unexplained ability to throw off a compulsion did give the Headmaster pause.

THE GREATER GOOD.

“’The Greater Good’? That has been the refuge of bullies since time began old man. Everyone believes what he does is right or justified. What makes you special?”

"Gosh, I dunno, I'm only the brilliant and talented headmaster of the primary magical educational facility in Britain, not someone who barges into people's breakfasts backed by my superhero friends throwing around threats of bodily harm and property destruction without facts, such as the one about Harry choosing to remove the safeties on his Chaos magic."

I'm not sure it's obvious, but that's where I stopped reading.