![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mcityUnder the right conditions, irrational fear can be just as effective as a brand name laxative.
So my mum, for some reason or another, once talked me into taking Dulcolax stool softener.
Let me make this clear, I have nothing against the product. It was very effective, and worked exactly as advertised. And exactly when advertised. Let's back up.
The "discussion" I had with Mommy was with regards to when I should take it. The box says it produces relief in 6 to 12 hours. Mum, apparently, assumed that I would simply take one large, super-dense dump, possibly of the consistency of starship fuel. She wanted me to take it before I went to work one Saturday. I assumed it would be better to take it Sunday, so the drugs would not take effect until sometime after Church, when my schedule was free. However, Mother insisted, and since she pays the bills, I gave.
So fast-forward a few hours later, and hit play when you reach the six-foot-four black kid sitting on his workplace's toilet, bending over and clutching his stomach. He tries to explain the situation to his irate boss, who's on the other side of the door. The long term ramifications of the event are such that to this day, his name is used among employees of the company, as a verb meaning "to take an extremely long session in the bathroom".
As you hit fast-forward again, you zip past several scenes where our protagonist leaves the restroom, only to return to it shortly thereafter. This continues several times, and it is starting to wear thin for both the kid and the audience.
At around six o' clock, said young man arrived home, and informed his mother that he'd never listen to her again.
So my mum, for some reason or another, once talked me into taking Dulcolax stool softener.
Let me make this clear, I have nothing against the product. It was very effective, and worked exactly as advertised. And exactly when advertised. Let's back up.
The "discussion" I had with Mommy was with regards to when I should take it. The box says it produces relief in 6 to 12 hours. Mum, apparently, assumed that I would simply take one large, super-dense dump, possibly of the consistency of starship fuel. She wanted me to take it before I went to work one Saturday. I assumed it would be better to take it Sunday, so the drugs would not take effect until sometime after Church, when my schedule was free. However, Mother insisted, and since she pays the bills, I gave.
So fast-forward a few hours later, and hit play when you reach the six-foot-four black kid sitting on his workplace's toilet, bending over and clutching his stomach. He tries to explain the situation to his irate boss, who's on the other side of the door. The long term ramifications of the event are such that to this day, his name is used among employees of the company, as a verb meaning "to take an extremely long session in the bathroom".
As you hit fast-forward again, you zip past several scenes where our protagonist leaves the restroom, only to return to it shortly thereafter. This continues several times, and it is starting to wear thin for both the kid and the audience.
At around six o' clock, said young man arrived home, and informed his mother that he'd never listen to her again.
