That awkward moment when you realize the little girl you knew is now an attractive young woman.

That awkward moment when you realize she graduated high school four years after you.

That awkward moment when she has kids.

That awkward moment when you realize you may have just sent a friend request to the wrong person.

Alex: I live in Brooklyn, and I've been called "white boy" in a pejorative manner by black people just for walking past them. I've also told a mixed-race female friend of mine that I like brown girls and she got offended. So, yes, people do sometimes tilt at windmills when it comes to race.
Bob: Since you're white, you need to be conscious of all the oppressing other white people have done and all the power other white people have. If they offended you, you shouldn't be hanging out with those people and they have no responsibility for deliberately offending you whatsoever. Also, you can't call a young woman a brown girl even in a literal sense because you're white and she was right to be offended even if she wasn't actually right about what your point was. I'm right because I'm a black guy, so stop complaining about people playing the race card.
Me:

Suddenly, Jonathan realized that the new store that had opened a literal stone's throw away from his flat, on his way home from school, was a food store, and moreover, that they sold Pringles. Some quick research determined that they did not sell his beloved Honey BBQ, but instead the intriguing new flavor Macaroni and Cheese, as well as Steak and Onion.

'Twould be a long year, he thought grimly.

Apparently, making jokes about how Sherlock and John's relationship can easily and reasonably be seen as homosexual is homophobic or something. Oh, and since John and Sherlock act like spouses, they should just be spouses. Of course, there's the minor fact that John has explicitly denied being gay or involved with Sherlock, and has had multiple straight relationships over the course of the series, and no known gay relationships. But those are just details to the dedicated slasher.

They also asserted that making Watson a woman in Elementary is "whitewashing" because it eliminates the chance for sexy gay funtimes. I'm not sure in which dictionary turning a white male character into a female Asian one is whitewashing. Maybe they could explain it to me, in words that people regularly use in conversational English, and not social justice blogs.

I've also discovered a story series-with spinoffs-on the same Very Specific website as my previous post. Basically, there's a virus that changes people based on their whims, depending on what they are thinking when they come into contact with it, or their desire for an ideal body, or both. Strangely, all of their desires seem to fall into the same general area. Since it's the main subject of this Very Specific website, the most common, by far, is breast enlargement. Apparently a lot of people want breasts the size of a city block. Also, a woman gets a vagina for a mouth because she likes oral.

I'll give you a moment.

It's all so bleh. Yes, big dicks, extra breasts, a vajayjay where your face would be, the occasional hermaphrodite, but where's the variety? Sure, their was that one guy who basically became a pheremone-spewing Adonis, but he was the exception. Someone who apparently got an expansion fetish from watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and others were mentioned in the background.

Where are the furries? Where are the latex-clad kinksters? The size queens and leather daddies? Where's /d/? Why does everyone seem to have the same general set of fetishes? Why don't we hear about a grown man who turns into a little girl? Or a rapist who turns into an invisible nigh stalker with a dozen tentacles, each tipped with a blade? What about someone with a scat or watersports fetish?

And given that this virus is incredibly dangerous, why aren't people who have it quarantined? I mean, wouldn't there be a high risk of the people giving themselves block-sized boobs or turning themselves into giants accidentally killing someone?

Personally, the only real alterations I'd want is to get rid of the cyst on my wrist, immunity to wrist strain injury-I spend far too much time on the computer-and the ability to control the length of my body hair, including the ability to make it all fall out. I'd save a bundle on shaving crap. Of course, given that these wishes are invariably granted in the most sexual way possible, I'd probably end up with tentacles instead of hands, and my skin would turn to plastic or latex or something, like a doll. Which would make frying anything much riskier.

Come to think, what happens if a child is somehow infected?

Yes, I know I'm taking it far too seriously, thank you. IT'S KINDA MY THING

Fic thanks its beta readers.
Latest chapter has about a dozen grammar errors that would've been noticed by any reasonably-alert seventh-grader, including basic tense usage.

I was disproportionately excited by stumbling upon some frozen chicken I forgot I had in my freezer. Like finding a hidden Christmas present with my name on it in April. "Yay! Chicken!"

"Anyone? Anyone else for service to Bristol? Anyone want to come sit on a reasonably warm...ish bus? Sit it traffic for a while? No?"

Me: Hee.

Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes announced in March 2007.

BBC's Sherlock announced in August 2008.

Elementary announced in late 2011, and is promptly decried as a ripoff by fans of the BBC's Sherlock.

GLASS HOUSES.

Someone says it breaks the rules.
Someone responds to them and says it doesn't.
I respond to them and say it does.
I get two posts worth of nonsense about how copyright infringement only occurs when it reduces value, and how every rule has a loophole, and how the demotivator is "harmless", and how my avatar is creepy.
Instead of responding, I, on a hunch simply check their gallery.
Five pieces were violations, all of which I reported.
"Michelle", thou didst protest too much.