Dear Internet Writer;

[mcity]

It is not a "visage". It is a "face". When people are startled, they think in shorter words, not longer. They would not "about screamed, barely stifling it" as they "spin about into the visage" of anything or anyone. They "almost screamed, and spun to find [the subject's] face". It's really quite simple.

Srsly,
-Jonathan

Dear other writer:
They're not "brown orbs", they're "brown eyes", not that the color's relevant. And what on earth is a "feral miscreant"?

-Jonathan

Comments

[unicorn-magic.livejournal.com]

Eye color is very important. I know I think about my friends' eye colors on a regular basis. Except, you know, not.