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You have spent several seconds reading this post when you could be watching The Avengers.
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  1. Make some manner of cheesecake.
  2. Put SweetTarts on it.
  3. ???
  4. Delicious, delicious profit.
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Surprisingly accurate.

The telephone rang.

Jason Wilkins roused himself out of his dough-and-flour-addled stupor, and gazed at the ringing noise emanating from the receiver. He was tall, even for an American, this despite his father's very average height and his mother's petite build. Some had suggested -- in hushed tones and never to his face, of course -- that it was because his mother had long ago taken an ... interest in the very tall mailman who'd graced their neighborhood mail delivery route for so many years. Mail delivery was one of those necessary evils of modern American life; a citizen could send his friends and colleagues e-mail faxes that arrived in the blink of an eye, but there was always the reactionary old contingent who'd never wanted to bother with these "modern contraptions" who insisted on writing letters on paper and sending them through the antiquated network of delivery trucks and post offices, and so long as this contingent existed the mail would also have to exist.

PROTIP:

Jan. 18th, 2012 07:44 pm
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Watch the Serlock Series 2 finale.

Then watch and listen to this music video.


Florence + The Machine - No Light, No Light


Then boggle.
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7434133/1/Blue_Sky

Hello! It's me! Wheatley, from Portal 2! I'd like to just point you in the direction of this fanfic, and it stars me! Wheatley! And if that weren't enough--can't imagine why it wouldn't be--it stars Chell, and GLaDOS, and, um, others, that's all I'm going to say right now. I'd tell you more, but it'd, well it'd be spoiling the fic and Portal 2, and I am fairly certain that would be a very bad idea. Just take my word for it, it's brilliant. Click the link up top there! Or if you'd rather--if you'd rather see the Livejournal version with some nice pictures, you could just click here instead! Just keep clicking "Next 10". You know, if you feel like it.

No pressure.

Nooo pressure.
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Light the fuse.

I really, really like the idea of an action movie where the main character never fires a gun.

I was also pleasantly surprised by how good Brad Bird is as a live-action director. There are just some lovely set-pieces, and less of a focus on Hunt. The conceit here is that not only is the team working without resources, the entire agency has been disavowed, so they can't even get covert backup. All they have is an old supply cache full of things that malfunction all the time. And that's not the only place Murphy's Law applies. The team actually feels like a team of diverse individuals with their own motivations, not Hunt and Sidekicks, and even the villain feels vaguely sympathetic. And he's absolutely insane.

So, yeah, go see it, if you can suspend disbelief about little things like Hunt spending months in a Russian prison, yet still having perfect absolutely hair. I think it's even feathered.
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It's not a birthday cake, but it'll have to do.
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It's a game, dear man, a shadowy game. We're playing cat and mouse, the professor and I.
Victorian Europe, international intrigue, and daggers in the dark. How we've missed you, Holmes.

Remember what I said about hats in my Sucker Punch review? The three main female characters, all very lovely women*, all wear hats. Sim spends the last 40 minutes or so in what looks like a rumpled fedora.

Moriarty is quite chilling, and indeed Holmes match. He threatens murder and worse as easily as most people would ask the time.

The cinematography has been turned up to eleven. WB apparently went ShutUpAndTakeMyMoney.jpg to Guy Ritchie, and boy does it show, especially in one sequence I can't say any more about for fear of spoilers.

Holmes himself, as Watson observes, seems more manic. Between Watson leaving and pursuing "the biggest case of [his] career" while living on stimulants and very little sleep, it's no wonder. Everyone seems very capable, even Mary. There's an underlying sense of urgency that makes the slowdowns all the more important, more treasured.

Also, Holmes deductive sequences? He doesn't explain those anymore. We just have montages of the things he saw and we missed or thought nothing of. No explanation, the audience has to figure out themselves, drawing them into the movie. Not that this slows down the pacing. If your jaw isn't dropping, you'll be giggling.

TL:DR; If you liked the first movie, it's more of the same, but bigger and louder and better and more bromantical. Which is a word now. Every time you use it, you have to pay me a nickel.

*All with rather nice cheekbones, as it happens. The director was previously married to Madonna. I'm noticing a theme here.
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Imagine someone distilled the minds of Michael Bay and Neill Blomkamp, ran them through a blender, added some of Gaiman's love of classic literature, and then put them into a book.

Basically, it's fantastic.

I love it when Sci-Fi doesn't try to refer to "spacey" things just to remind the audience that it's sci-fi (*cough*HonorHarrington*cough*), such as in this case, where the main cast consists of a vat-grown soldier and genetically engineered rats and bats with implants in their heads to make them smart. And Irish, apparently. The implants came with several different old books, and they identified with the underdogs, and now they act Irish.

Anyway, characters also refer to an operation reminding them of something from DVDs from old Earth. Not "pre-holo" or "pre-dispora" or whatever Honor Harrington characters would say. DVDs. I had to stop and make sure I was reading a Baen book.

Get it if you like several hundred pages made up almost entirely of banter and crude humor. Like I said, Michael Bay. It would help a little if you were passingly familiar with Bronte. Like I said, Neil Gaiman.
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It's you. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!
This was actually quite good. It's actually more cerebral than anything. The pretty women in hot clothes are there to make A Point, not mere fanservice, though I still felt embarrassed checking it out from the library. I don't have any of the fetishes on display—okay, I think girls in garrison caps are cute, is that so wrong?—but one element really surprised me.

Movie: Oh, David Krumholtz is the Big Bad.
Me: You mean the guy from Numb3rs? Well, I suppose he could have untapped dramatic depths, so I gue—AHHHHHHHHHHH

EDIT: It's not Mr. Universe, it's an actor named Oscar Isaacs. Downright uncanny.
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It uses the latest up to date digital film techniques but didn't cost a fortune to make. It' is in fact the first digital home movie. None of the backgrounds even exist - they were all created in computers. 9 home computers that the directors hooked up together and arranged to operate like a high end digital TV post production system. It's a home movie!


Kind of a shame it's not more popular. Made in the long-lost year of 2005.
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Mouse in the House got a B.

The essay I wrote about the animation based on Thurber's "The Unicorn in the Garden" got an A.

Considering that I wrote the first half of the thing pretty much overnight, and the second half was more or less finished the night before it was due, I'm pretty proud of that.

And my essay for another class about psychedelic illustration? B. Again, mostly finished the night before. I was fully prepared to sleep not a wink, when suddenly I realized it was 2AM and I was essentially done. I actually went over the word count. The essay itself was fine, but the presentation and sourcing weren't quite the right format. That's a'ight. I can deal.
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What you know about dinner?

Ingredients
  • Chopped up potatoes

  • Chopped up pork
  1. Find frying pan.
  2. Dump in ingredients.
  3. Dump in water. Or wine. Or cooking sherry. Or Jack Daniels, whatever. As long as you can use it as a cooking medium. Even Coca-Cola might do, si vous préférez.
  4. Add spices, veg, and sauces to taste. I used Chicken OXO (which comes in squeezy bottles now!), and light mayo.
  5. Cook, stirring occasionally. The
  6. Allow to cook until both pork and potatoes are done, and sauce is reduced to taste.
  7. Dump in plate, bowl, or eat out of pan.
  8. Add sauces and spices to taste.
  9. Dig in.
I like how versatile it is. It's like the Swiss Army Knife of cheap bachelor food. That is, bachelor food.
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What...what is this?

(Yes, I know exactly what it is, thank you very much. I just find those captions amusing. Yes, I read captions about leather daddies for fun, what of it?)

"Brigadier, what a nice surprise! This your first visit to the boot-serfs' drill-yard? Yes, it's all very bijou in scale -- central London property prices mean it could hardly be otherwise, I'm afraid. Do you fancy a stint here? Ha, ha, ha -- no, I mean up here in the overseers' gallery! Oh, so you've taken a shine to that hulking blond lout, number 7C...I must warn you he's a thug...but of course I can have him sent to you this evening...no problem. Oh, you've noticed the fly of my breeches...yes, sir, I confess I do find this work pretty stimulating. Erm, why don't we go and have tea? Pierre has made some of what I gather are your favourite cakes -- cream horns -- and there's a rather delightful Met policeman I'd like you to meet..."


All I did was search flickr for "chav", for Pete's sake. I didn't expect there to be an intersect between Burberry and BDSM, but there you are. And here I was;

Mounted Scoutmaster 59
"My chavs all agree that much the most decadent of the military men they service regularly is my brother, seen here leaving my house last winter after a particularly wild debauch."

Who is supposed to be writing these, anyway? What character's hand pens these immortal lines? What sort of organization is this? How are promotions earned? Is there a divide between enlisted ranks and commissioned? I'm no trendsetter, no style pioneer, but this leather stuff looks high-quality, expensi--

Mounted Scoutmaster 82
"So-called ball-stretching is a fine and manly pursuit and useful too in that low-swinging gonads command respect everywhere. It's very much on my conscience I've not been paying greater attention to the Scout's needs in this regard. Anyway, the Master Saddler of an elite British Army cavalry unit tells me he will have a selection of different sizes for my lads to try on next week. As on previous occasions, we'll make it into a competition and I will ceremonially strap the winner into his stretcher. The Troop record is a stretcher with the eye-watering height of 160 mm."

AHAHAHAHAH.

This is just fantastic.

DISCLAIMER: I am not making fun of BDSM or it's practitioners itself, nor homosexuality, I am just saying that I find this one flickr account, of the one guy, amusing and interesting in a way that was not intended by the person who wrote it. This is also my reaction to politics.
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I THINK IT'S TIME FOR A POOLSIDE DANCE PARTY?



DANCE PARTIEEE
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I heard about these books called the Vorkosagan Saga

I was all like "Baen, right? I'll just read 'em for free?"

I got to the end of the first half of CH and was all like "Man, this is too good! I have to give them money for this!"

Then I did.

Then I finished the second half of CH and moved onto the Young Miles Omnibus, which starts with TWA.

It's like someone combined Honor Harrington, made her flaws actual flaws, and then took Wooster and Jeeves and combined them all in the same character.

Good Omens and Maniac Magee, in that order, are still my favorite books, but Bujold is putting up some stiff competition.

If Cordelia's Honor was very good, this is sublime.

I can't even come up with a witty way to say it.

It's that good.

This is how I wanna write when I grow up.
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Both very good movies. Go see 'em!

HP7Pt2
Don't go see it if you didn't see the first half (I didn't) or you haven't read the books (I have). After a certain point in the film, it was like a rollercoaster reaching the top of the first hill, and you just have to hang on all the way to the denouement. I found myself dabbing at my eyes at one or two points. In a suitably manly fashion, of course.

Captain America
This is the first movie to actually feel like an Avengers movie, which is ironic, since there's only one Avenger. Between this, Iron Man 1/2, Thor, and Incredible Hulk, Marvel is 5 for 5 with their movies. Now if only DC would pick up the ball and figure out what the other guys are doing right.

Also, I like how unapologetically pulp-sci-fi the movie is. Why does Hydra's stuff glow? Because their power source glows, is why. You have a problem? DealWithIt.gif. These action figures ain't gonna sell themselves.
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Guess who my favorite class is?

Guess what picture I have to redraw and scan properly instead of using my cell phone camera?

Steam Username: JCuul

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